Amazon Game Studios has announced that former president of Sony Online Entertainment and Daybreak Game Company, John Smedley, will be leading their "all-new team" in San Diego.
"His team is already hard at work on an ambitious new project that taps into the power of the AWS Cloud and Twitch to connect players around the globe in a thrilling new game world."
I have some cool ideas for ambitious new titles Amazon and Smedley could make. For starters...
John Smedley's Ever Expanding Face Simulator.
In this mobile game, you watch in horror as Smedley's big 'ol face gets bigger and bigger and bigger until he becomes some sort of horrifying Humpty Dumpty looking ghoul. I'm not really sure how this game would play, but I'm almost positive that once you slap simulator in the title, you don't have to worry about game mechanics.
Smedley is known for the "brutal survival sandbox," H1Z1. I never played it, but here's an idea for a brutal new game.
LOS (Lost or Stolen)
This game would be a gritty, brutal look at the trials and tribulations of being an Amazon customer. The e-commerce company often hires random, incompetent independent contractors instead of reputable parcel delivery services. In this game, you're a consumer who's package was never delivered even though it said it was on the site. Now, it's up to you to figure out where it is.
You have 36 hours to run around like an idiot and try to guess who or what has your package. Sometimes, it's stolen and you have to confront shady neighbors who like to watch porn with their blinds open. Sometimes homeless people ran off with your package and you have to reason with them that they have absolutely no need for that coffee grinder. Maybe it was never delivered at all! Maybe the delivery driver just took it! Oh, what fun!
If you fail to discover the package in time, Amazon will finally issue you a refund, but only after making you feel like an asshole liar about the whole thing. The scenario changes each subsequent play-though. So, even if you discover that the delivery driver wasn't able to make the deliver to your office because it closes at 5, or that your address is actually 210 and not 220, Amazon will never correct that mistake. Ever. Never ever.
Narrative-driven games are super hot these days. Since "John is no stranger to bucking trends and creating unforgettable games," it would be foolish of him and his team to miss out on this opportunity. Is that what "bucking trends" even means? I don't know. I don't think they do either.
In this narrative-driven adventure game, you are sifting through customer reviews on Amazon trying to find clues in order to solve a mysterious murder. The game places you in front of a computer screen and you aimlessly start searching through Amazon's seemingly endless inventory. Use filters to narrow down your search. Then, you must sift through the tremendous amount of insipid customer reviews in order to find clues.
Most of the reviews are pure garbage, but once in awhile you'll find one that helps you get one step closer to solving the crime. Some reviews can be misleading as companies are known to give rewards for favorable scores. Some people give everything 5 stars without ever purchasing the item. You never know!
This game is going to subvert the ever-loving fuck out of your expectations. It won't be very fun to play, but it'll be extremely well written. Either way, it's sure to be controversial and make its way to many a game journalist's top games of the year.
Amazon Game Studios also says they're hiring. They have openings in San Diego, Seattle, Orange County, and Austin. So, dust off that CV and visit https://games.amazon.com/careers. Maybe one day you'll be working on one of these amazing titles!