Crash Bandicoot Coming to Overwatch!?

Coming to a Play of the Game near you?

Coming to a Play of the Game near you?

Whoa. This is huge. Rumors began to circulate this past weekend that a certain orange marsupial will be making an appearance in one of the most popular shooters of last year. If the scuttlebutt is to be believed, he won't just be making a cameo appearance either, but will in fact be a full-blown playable hero alongside the curvaceous Zenyatta and scrumptious Bastion. Get your fanfics ready, cuz Crash is gonna smash all your favorite Overwatch characters!

Though no art was located as of the time of this writing, datamining revealed a fairly convincing toolkit for our lovable PS1 mascot. His abilities are as follows:


Wumpa Cannon: Crash's main weapon will be his fruit-spewing bazooka from Crash Bandicoot: Warped. This weapon is similar to Pharah's rocket launcher, albeit with a slower moving projectile. The lack of speed is compensated with increased damage and a splash radius larger than that of Pharah's missiles.


Crash Spin

Quick Spin: A tap of the alt-fire button will enable Crash to perform his signature spin attack, which has the ability to deflect projectiles and knock heroes back a short distance. Evidence shows that this spin will operate by the same rules the attack had in the original Crash Bandicoot: up to six spins can be stockpiled at a time, and these can be used in rapid succession. If you deplete them all you'll be left helpless for several seconds while your spin gauge recharges.

Tornado Spin

Tornado Spin: An extended version of the Quick Spin, Crash will now whirl about for several seconds at a stretch. The ability to reflect projectiles remains unchanged from the standard spin, but heroes are now knocked back even further and Crash is given the ability to glide over gaps for the duration of his spin. Even more reason to be weary around ledges!


Body Slam

Body Slam: Crash will perform a powerful body slam, dealing high damage to any enemy heroes directly underneath him and temporarily stunning opponents within a certain radius of his impact point. While this move is very situational, its ability to punish groups of enemies who are caught unaware will force the opposition to spread out and keep an eye on the sky at all times. Seems like Crash and Pharah are going to get along swimmingly!

Aku Aku

Aku Aku: Crash's ultimate ability will see him donning his protective mask Aku Aku and rushing headlong into foes, dealing massive damage to anyone in his path. If you hear the beating of drums, run! While Aku Aku is active Crash will be invulnerable and immune to stuns and snares, and once it expires Crash will be left with a golden mask capable of absorbing two shots before depleting. Be careful though, as an overly zealous Crash player may find themselves deep behind enemy lines with no backup once Aku Aku expires!

Double Jump

Movement: Finally, in addition to the active skills above, Crash's movement will be augmented with two passive abilities. First there's his trusty double jump, allowing for maneuverability similar to that of Genji. Second, to round out the platformer themes of this hero, anyone Crash jumps on will suffer a small amount of damage. While that damage will probably be insignificant, I'm looking forward to the inevitable Play of the Game where an entire enemy team is defeated by an agile Crash player!


It sure sounds like Crash has a lot going on, and in the right hands I can see him leading many a team to victory. I was initially concerned that he was being brought to Overwatch as nothing more than a crass promotion for the upcoming Crash Bandicoot remaster, which is being published by the Activision side of Activision-Blizzard on June 30th. But judging from his moveset it's obvious this is a labor of love from the folks at Blizzard. It looks like Crash is going to fit in right with the rest of the gang!


Destiny 2 LEAKS

Destiny 2 Legit 2 Quit

Destiny 2 Legit 2 Quit

We got all the hot leaks ahead of tomorrow's announcement. What kind of ribaldry might the massive and inexhaustible Destiny community look forward to later this year? Well, for starters...

1. Destiny 2 will be subtitled "The Goblet of Fire"

Holy shit. What could that mean!? Will it have some connection to Oryx? Maybe it's a new sparrow racing cup? Hopefully Bungie will go into greater detail about this intriguing title tomorrow. And speaking of sparrow racing...

2. It will be a stealth-sequel in the Jet Moto series

Be still my throbbing loins. Three things make this a certainty in my mind. First, the last game in the long-dead Jet Moto series featured tracks on Mars and Ganymede, areas already available in Destiny. Second, though Destiny isn't a console exclusive, it has a significant association with the Playstation platform, also home of Jet Moto. Finally, the introduction of sparrow racing drove the Destiny player base to an all-new height which continues to grow to this day. Taken all together, it makes perfect sense that Bungie would retrofit their loot-shooter into a racing game! 

3. Two new factions: The Dewists and the Fantamin

When players start Destiny 2 they will be immediately presented with a choice that will color the narrative of their character for the rest of the game. You will find yourself caught between two warring factions: the extremely refreshing and hip Dewists, and the enigmatic, primarily orange-flavored Fantamin. Your choice of faction will allow you to unlock sick tricks to perform during your sparrow racing, such as the Christ Air unique to Dewists, and the Frumpy Melon Grind of the Fantamin. We're also hearing that your choice is not permanent; supposedly you can change sides through an extensive side-quest, which will allow you to retain all your dope skillz from one factions while earning those available to the other side. Look out for dedicated players with all the hippest moves!

4. There's a dating-sim element

This might be the most exciting, but also the most tenuous. From what we hear you will be able to slowly woo your ghost over the course of months, taking your relationship with your companion from partners to... partners. All I can say is rawr.

Whatever tomorrow's announcement brings, I think we can safely declare Destiny 2: The Goblet of Fire a frontrunner among 2017's GOTY contenders. See you in the destiny! Two!

Crash Bandicoot Announcement (UPDATE: Release date!)

Coming soon?

Coming soon?

UPDATE: Well, there it is. The rumor was true, and the release date is June 30th!

The Activision Twitter account is teasing some kind of announcement today, February 16th. With text that simply reads "Don't miss tomorrow's announcement" and a set of crates set in what appears to be a date format, we are very likely looking at the announcement of the release date for the upcoming N. Sane Trilogy.

Curt and I played through the first three Crash Bandicoot games for the opening weeks of our YouTube channel, and during that playthrough I realized just how important the games were to me as a child. I hadn't picked them up in at least 14 years at that point, yet as we played I felt old synapses firing and thick dust cleaned away as every box and bend and snipping crabby brought back what little bit of joy I experienced in my youth. As we proceeded into the second and third games I also realized with great delight that the games were holding up on their own, and remained a joy to play even as an adult.

At one point in our playthrough I mentioned that I wanted exactly what the N. Sane trilogy is promising: remakes of the first three games with all the original geometry and updated graphics. I also wanted improvements from the second and third games (improved controls, manual save systems, time trials, etc.) to be brought over to the first title, as that was the only one which felt in need of much mechanical improvement. Whether we will receive those improvement remains to be seen, but for now I'm excited for the possibility of seeing Crash in a whole new light.

I'll update this post later today to reflect whatever the announcement ends up being. Hopefully it doesn't turn out to be a Crash Bandicoot infinite runner.